John Burton Awakened by the Mercy of the Holy Spirit

 

How could I be going to hell?  What I was experiencing messed with my theology to a radically uncomfortable degree. The Holy Spirit was making sure I would never be the same again. Mission accomplished.

I count the early 1990s as the most significant season of my life to date. God had invaded my life. Do you feel the weight of that reality? The burning, raging Creator thrust Himself into this mere mortal!

The Holy Spirit took me beyond a mere understanding of my need for a savior and a simple acceptance of Jesus as that savior to a place of breathtaking experience in His extreme, fearsome and surprisingly vivid invisible realm. 

The sudden all-consuming desire of my heart was to be intimately joined with the Lover of my soul every moment of my life. I was craving and experiencing a legitimate, reportable and constant weighty manifestation of the presence of God in my life. I was burning! The desire and the cry of my heart was...

 "More!"

In those early years, as I was diving into the increasingly deeper realms of life in God, many things happened that I'll never forget—but one event shook me like no other before or since. 

I Had a Dream

 

The night I had this uninvited invasion of both God and hell into my sleep, I was living in an old, vacant church building as the caretaker. The dramatic scene was what you would imagine—the church was a relatively ancient stone structure. I would regularly encounter God as I walked through the now empty corridors, hidden rooms, sanctuary and other mysterious places throughout that relic. The countless hours praying in this vacant building resulted in forming me as a young burning man in some very memorable ways. 

One destined evening I prepared for bed as I did every other night. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I prayed myself to sleep in the weighty and wonderful presence of the Holy Spirit as I had done so many times before.

What was about to happen as I slipped into sleep that fateful night would result in a tremble that is with me to this day—25 years later. I was invited into an otherworldly encounter that I had no freedom to turn down.

Because of the unimaginable panic and terror I experienced that night long ago, I would often pray as I went to sleep...

 "God, please don't give me any dreams tonight." 

I prayed that way for 13 years.

Thirteen years! God eventually spoke clearly to me, after 13 years of receiving many visions, but no dreams of God, "John, I need you to stop praying that prayer. I have things to reveal to you. I need to talk to you. I have dreams for you to dream." I relented and have since craved dreams, angelic visitations and other forms of communication from the heavenly realm.

During this night of terror over 25 years ago, I fell asleep in the old, empty church building and found myself dreaming.

In my dream, I was laying on my stomach in a one-room building. It was very comfortable inside, though there was nothing in the room. It was empty. I rested on the carpet and looked out of the two windows, one in front of me and one to my right. The overwhelming feeling that I had was one of comfort and relaxation. I had no concerns and no thoughts beyond enjoying the atmosphere I was in. This feeling is what drove my entire experience. Obviously nothing could be wrong if I was feeling so good, right?

Through the windows I could see a peaceful, lazy and bright sunny day unfolding. It was beautiful! The trees were blowing in a gentle breeze. The birds were chirping and flying from tree to tree. What a brilliant Creator we have! Everything was so refreshing and alive! I couldn't have asked for a better afternoon.

Then, suddenly, I experienced a changing of the scene. Like time-lapse photography, as I was in the same position on the floor looking out the window, I watched the atmosphere suddenly change. 

There was an immediate and progressive shift. The clouds were ever so slightly darkening and increasing in coverage in the sky. The gentle breeze picked up velocity and the brilliant brightness started to go in and out as periodic shadows covered the area while the sun hid beyond the advancing clouds. It seemed as if some rain might be moving in. I rested there, stretched out on my belly with my head in my hands as I watched it unfold. I remained immersed in my own comfort. I was taking deep breaths and enjoying every moment of my day.

Time lapsed again and I saw the sky completely covered in clouds—clouds much darker than just a few moments ago. I could now smell the fresh and unmistakable scent of the coming rain.

"Concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man" (Matt. 24:36-39).

The birds were taking cover as the wind picked up significantly. In the distance I saw several lightning strikes. It sure seemed as if this could be quite a storm. How was it that I was feeling no concern, no urgency to prepare as I enjoyed my personal, careless experience in that small, one-room shack? I stretched out and relaxed even more. The greater the threat, the greater the "peace." What a wonderful day I was having.

Again, for the third time, I watched the scene in front of me change suddenly. Now, it was fully obvious the storm would most definitely hit—and soon. The wind was intense and large, ominous drops of rain started to hit the windows. Violent and arrogant lightning that seemed to have a personality all its own struck less than 300 yards away.

The thumps of hail hitting the roof started and quickly increased in force. It was time for concern. The threat of danger was increasing by the second, but I didn't feel any urgency or need to respond. I remained prostrate on the ground, refreshed and at ease, just as I did when it was a beautiful sunny day. I was enjoying the perceived safety of my environment. I was feeling so good.

Once again, time lapsed and I found myself in the center of a churning, dreadful force that seemed powerful enough to split the Earth in two. The storm of the century was upon me. The massive trees were nearly snapping in two as they bent over parallel to the ground. The hail was massive in size and was slamming every surface around me. The windows were buckling in and out as the incredible pressure of the storm weighed on them. The lightning that burned hotter than the surface of the sun was literally striking mere feet from the shack. The walls were shaking. You can imagine what I was experiencing in that terrible and fearful moment. You guessed it: beautiful peace, safety and comfort. It truly was a wonderful day, until ...

Part 2

In a fraction of a moment my overwhelming sense of peace and safety and relaxation turned to the most gripping terror I had ever known. It was as if every source of life and good had been eliminated from the atmosphere. Evil dominated the place that just moments ago was so enjoyable.

My mind raced in an attempt to figure out what had just happened. The fear I was experiencing was beyond description. It made no sense. What was going on? Everything was so perfect! Today was supposed to be about enjoying life!

Suddenly, as I was confused, horrified and trembling on the floor, two hands grabbed my ankles. My terror instantly escalated to levels I cannot describe. I quickly looked back and saw nothing—but I knew a demonic entity had grabbed on to me.

The grip on my ankles was like a vice. The thought of escaping was a ridiculous one. It was impossible. My life, which seemingly just moments ago had been under my own control, was now overpowered by an invisible yet horrifying force, a force that I knew had intents—and the ability—to destroy me.

Again, the terror immediately increased nearly to the point of literally losing control of my mind as that demon started to pull me backward—and then down. My feet and legs were disappearing below the floor of that shack. I knew I was going to hell.

How can this be? It's impossible! I'm going to hell? But I'm saved. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. This is contrary to everything I have ever learned in church. Yet the moment was real, and I was losing every ounce of hope. I was about to enter an eternity of continual torture. Never-ending panic, madness and torment was upon me.

The demon kept slowly pulling me downward, as if he was relishing every single moment. My feet were well below the floor and my waist was at ground level. Then, suddenly my hope increased. I thought to myself, "If I say the name of Jesus, the demon must flee!"

So in my new state of hope I was able to squeeze out...

 "In the name of J—–. In the name of J—–. Ahhhhh!"

I couldn't say it! The demon was controlling my very breath. I was suffocating every time that name was about to be said. I could have said any word in the dictionary but that one. My hope instantly was lost and I started to cry out as I convulsed under the unbreakable control of that demon.

He continued to pull me down, one grueling inch at a time. Finally, my neck and then my mouth were entering hell as my body was taken below. At the height of my madness and terror, and as my eyes were about to descend beneath the floor, I woke up.

I sat straight up, trembling in my bed in that old church building. I was sweating in such volume that my entire bed was saturated. The light switch by my bedroom door was no more than seven feet from my bed. Just two quick steps to the wall would have been all it took to lighten the room. But I was frozen. I sat there for at least three hours in the darkness in absolute terror.

What Just Happened?

I finally fell back to sleep and awoke the next morning. I didn't realize how radically my life had taken a turn the previous night. As I tried to gather my thoughts while the events of the previous night overwhelmed my spirit and my mind, I looked outside the two windows that were there in my bedroom in that old church building. It was a beautiful sunny day—but I did not feel comfortable or relaxed. I was shaken.

I begged God to tell me why I had that dream. What had just happened? Finally, later on that day, He spoke to me, "John, you represented the church. You were comfortable in your place of supposed safety. The storm was intensifying, yet you were lulled into a state of apathy. Many in the church will be surprised one day, just as you were surprised in the dream, to find themselves under the control of demons as they are taken to hell."

"The house of the wicked will be overthrown, but the tent of the upright will flourish. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful, and the end of that cheer is grief. The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways, but a good man will be satisfied with his" (Prov. 14:11-14).

There is a way that seems right. Intellectually, it makes sense. Other people seem to confirm that it is right. Common sense tells us that it is right. Even our theological dispositions confirm it is right. But it leads to death. And if it's the type of death I experienced in my dream—it must be avoided at all costs. 

A backslider is focused on his own condition, on his own comfort zone while a good man is in tune with the heart of God. His pleasure comes from intimacy with Father God. His pleasure comes from going where God is going, doing what he is doing and feeling what he is feeling. There is no sense of ease in the storm, but there is satisfaction and joy in the presence of God and by being in active agreement with Him.

This message is a wake-up call for every one of us. Many wonderful people will be terribly shocked to find themselves separated from God forever.

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonderful works in Your name?' But then I will declare to them...

'I never knew you. Depart from Me, you who practice evil'" (Matt. 7:21-23).

This Scripture is in reference to those who would call themselves born-again Christians, people who have understood and actually flowed in the power of the Holy Spirit. They understood their heavenly position and earthly authority as they overcame demons. These were your miracle workers.

We need a wake-up call, church. We can't presume to be in a place of safety simply because we said a prayer, go to church, give offerings and talk about Jesus. An intense pursuit of holiness and intimacy is required.

This is a message that must be shouted from the rooftops.

I can't imagine multiplied millions of people who are current following Jesus in an unsaved condition crying out in terror one day, "I'm going to hell? That's impossible!"

"He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars says these things: I know your works, that you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain but are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfected before God. Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you" (Rev. 3:1-3, MEV).

A Man After GOD's Heart SAINT DOMINIC (1170-1221)

SAINT DOMINIC (1170-1221)

The following is from the book The Life of Saint Dominic by August Theodosia Drane.

"On the second Sunday in Lent, being the first after the settlement of the nuns at St. Sixtus, Dominic preached in their church, standing, as it is said, "at the grating"-that is, so as his discourse should be heard both by them and by the congregation assembled in the public part of the church. 


As he did so, a possessed woman who was in the midst of the crowd interrupted the sermon: "Ah, villain!" cried the demon, speaking through her voice, "these nuns were once all mine own, and thou hast robbed me of them all. This soul at least is mine, and thou shalt not take her from me, for we are seven in number that have her in our keeping". Then Dominic commanded her to hold her peace, and making the Sign of the Cross he delivered her from her tormentors in the presence of all the spectators.



A few days after this she came to him and throwing herself at his feet, implored to be allowed to take his habit. He consented to her request and placed her in the convent of St. Sixtus, where he gave her the name of Amata, or, as we are used to call her, Amy, to signify the love of God displayed in her regard. She afterwards removed to Bologna, where she died in the odor of sanctity, and lies buried in the same tomb with Dominic's two other holy daughters, Cecilia and Diana, the latter of whom was foundress of the convent of women in that place.

 

In speaking of this and other examples of the malice of the demon which are narrated in the history of St. Dominic, we cannot but observe something perhaps a little distinctive about them. Never do we find one instance in which Satan was permitted the least power to vex or trouble him. Never, as with so many other saints, was he suffered to do him bodily harm or to assault him with grievous temptations. The evil one appears to us always baffled and contemptible, as in the power of one who is his master, the very Michael among the Saints. 


Yet, though always petty, and as it were ridiculous, he ceased not in his efforts to thwart and disturb him, and chiefly directed his malice against the friars and the sisters of St. Sixtus, grievously trying them by perpetual distractions, as though he hoped thereby at least to diminish something of the fervor of their devotions. Once indeed he made a more serious attempt against Dominic's life.



One night, as Dominic prayed in the church of Santa Sabina, a huge stone was hurled at him by an invisible hand from the upper part of the roof which all but grazed his head and even tore his hood, but falling without further injury to the saint was buried deep in the ground beside him. The noise was so loud that it awoke several of the friars, who came in haste to the spot to inquire the cause; they found the fragments of the broken pavement and the stone lying where it fell; but Dominic was kneeling quietly in prayer, and seemed as if unconscious of what had happened.

Another story of a similar character is told as follows: "The servant of God, who had neither bed nor cell of his own, had publicly commanded his children in chapter that in order that they might wake the more promptly to rise to matins, they should retire to bed at a certain hour, in which he was strictly obeyed.. Now, as he himself abode before the Lord in the church, the devil appeared before him in the form of one of the brethren, and though it was past the prohibited time, yet did he remain in the church with an air of particular devotion and modesty. Wherefore the Saint, judging it to be one of the friars, went softly up to him, and desired him to go to his cell, and sleep with the others.


"And the pretended friar inclined his head, in sign of humble obedience, and went as he was bid; but on each of the two following nights, he returned at the same hour and in the same manner. The second time, the man of God rose very gently (although, indeed, he had reason to be somewhat angry, seeing he had at table during the day reminded all of the observance of that which had been enjoined), and again desired him to go away. He went; but, as we have said, returned yet a third time. 


Then it seemed to the Saint that the disobedience and pertinacity of this brother was too great, and he reproved him for the same with some severity; whereat, the devil (who desired nothing else save to disturb his prayer and stir him unto wrath, and move him to break the silence) gave a loud laugh, and, leaping high into the air, he said, 'At least I have made you break the silence, and moved you to wrath!' But Dominic calmly replied, 'Not so, for I have power to dispense; neither is it blameworthy wrath when I utter reproofs unto the evil-doers.' And the demon, being so answered, was obliged to fly."

 

On another occasion, as he was by night walking about the convent of St. Sabina, guarding his flock with the vigilance of a good shepherd, he met the enemy in the dormitory, going like a lion seeking whom he might devour; and recognizing him, he said, "Thou evil beast, what doest thou here?" "I do my office," replied the demon, "and attend to my gains." "And what gains dost thou make in the dormitory?" asked the Saint. 


"Gain enough," returned the demon. "I disquiet the friars in many ways; for first, I take the sleep away from those who desire to sleep in order that they may rise promptly for matins; and then I give an excessive heaviness to others, so that when the bell sounds, either from weariness or idleness they do not rise; or, if they rise and go to choir, it is unwillingly, and they say their office without devotion."



Then the Saint took him to the church, and said, "And what dost thou gain here?" "Much," answered the devil; "I make them come late and leave soon. I fill them with disgusts and distractions, so that they do ill whatsoever they have to do." "And here?" asked Dominic, leading him to the refectory. "Who does not eat too much or too little?" was the reply; "and so they either offend God or injure their health." Then the Saint took him to the parlor, where the brethren were allowed to speak with seculars and to take their recreation. And the devil began maliciously to laugh, and to leap and jump about, as if with enjoyment, and he said, "This place is all my own; here they laugh and joke, and hear a thousand vain stories; here they utter idle words, and grumble often at their rule and their superiors; and whatsoever they gain elsewhere they lose here."

And lastly they came to the door of the chapter-room, but there the devil would not enter. He attempted to fly, saying, "This place is a hell to me: here the friars accuse themselves of their faults, and receive reproof and correction, and absolution. What they have lost in every other place they regain here." 


And so saying, he disappeared, and Dominic was left greatly wondering at the snares and nets of the tempter;  afterwards made a long discourse to his brethren, declaring the same unto them, that they should be on their guard." 

Story from the Unpublished Manuscript on Purgatory

   

In one of the most intriguing private revelations of the past 100 or more years a French nun who had died in a convent was allowed by God to manifest to a living nun and present descriptions of the afterlife that after serious discernment were granted an imprimatur by Cardinal Lawrence Shehan of Baltimore.


That rare approval of words from the "other side" was also confirmed by an ecclesiastic named Canon Duboq, who later became promotor fidei for St. Therese the Little Flower.    


These discernments were crucial because Christians are not to communicate with the dead, or at least are not to initiate such contact. For a long while the spirit was tested to make sure it was not diabolic. But after a long period of such testing and great initial reluctance on the part of the living nun who was receiving the messages, descriptions and explanations concerning purgatory were recorded that give us as great an insight into the afterlife as anything I have seen and are presented in a booklet that I have found among the most beneficial pieces of literature I have ever read 



The experience began in 1873, when the living nun, who we will call Sister L.C., began to hear strange sighs. The groaning remained unexplained for several months until finally the spirit identified herself as a recently deceased nun from the same convent who was identified only as Sister M.G., a nun who had been at the same convent and had died in 1871 -- two years before -- at the age of 36.


The Church always remains reserved in these matters, and it is considered a revelation only on human authority; there was no final and official judgment of the experience in its entirety. But the faithful were allowed to read the revelations, and they are nothing short of riveting.  


"If only you knew what I suffer!" said Sister M.G. "Pray for me, please. I suffer intensely everywhere. No one can imagine what purgatory is like. Be kind and take pity on the poor souls. Do not neglect the Way of the Cross.


"It is so beautiful in heaven," continued Sister M.G. "There is a great distance between heaven and purgatory. We are privileged at times to catch a glimpse of the joys of the blessed in paradise, but it is almost a punishment. It makes us yearn to see
God. In heaven, it is pure delight; in purgatory, profound darkness."  


Sister M.G. explained that God judged priests and religious vigorously because while on earth they were given special graces. She apparently had not said her devotions and had given her superioress trouble.   


"I am now in the second purgatory," she said. "Since my death, I have been in the first, where one endures such great suffering. We also suffer in the second purgatory, but not nearly as much as in the first. No one can have a real understanding of the sufferings in purgatory. No one thinks of them in the world. Even religious communities forget that they should pray for the souls and that they should inspire their pupils with this devotion." 


It was one of the great deceptions of the devil: that purgatory does not exist. This had caused many souls to suffer without the benefit of prayer. And according to Sister M.G., the longest suffering on earth was like the easiest suffering at the lower rungs of purgatory. 


"Great sinners who were indifferent towards God, and religious who were not what they should have been are in the lowest stage of purgatory," she said. "While they are there, the prayers offered up 
for them are not applied to them. Because they have ignored God during their lives, He now in His turn leaves them abandoned in order that they may repair their neglectful and worthless lives. While on earth one truly cannot picture or imagine what God really is, but we (in purgatory) know and understand Him for what He is." 


Added the nun: "We see St. Michael as we see the angels. He has no body. He comes to get souls that have finished their purification. It is he who conducts them to heaven. He is among the seraphim as monsignor said. He is the highest angel in heaven. Our own guardian angels come to see us but St. Michael is far more beautiful than they are. As to the Blessed Virgin, we see her in body. She comes to purgatory on her feasts and she goes back to heaven with many souls. While she is with us we do not suffer. St. Michael accompanies her. When he comes alone, we suffer as usual."   


Sister M.G. had been in what she called the "great purgatory," the worst level, for two years. It was from there that she had groaned. It had been full of "torments." "In the great purgatory there are several stages," she explained. "In the lowest and most painful, like a temporary hell, are the sinners who have committed terrible crimes during life and whose death surprised them in that state. It was almost a miracle that they were saved, and  often by the prayers of holy parents or other pious persons. Sometimes they did not have time to confess their sins and the world thought them lost, but God, Whose mercy is infinite, gave them at the moment of death the contrition necessary for their salvation on account of one or more good actions which they performed during life. For such souls, purgatory is terrible. It is a real hell with this difference, that in hell they curse God, whereas we bless Him and thank Him for having saved us."


She was now in the "second purgatory." 


  "There are no names in the other world," said Sister M.G. "You cannot compare purgatory and earth. When the soul is free and released from its mortal shell, its name is buried in the grave with the body. Here we are lost in the will of God, whereas on earth, no matter how great the saint is, self-will always has a certain hold on him. As for us, we have no self-will at all, we know and realize only that which pleases God to let us know, nothing more."