"I was working ICU and caring for a patient with breast Ca who was dying,
minimally responsive for days (this was a long time ago when we actually
kept dying patients in ICU). Anyway, she suddenly awoke and was very
lucid, asking for some water.....I was a little stunned but got her
water for her.
After she drank she said,
"Do you know what Jesus just
asked me?"
Of course I got chill bumps all over and asked...
"No, what?"
"He asked me if I had done everything
with love."
"And what did you say"
"I told him that I had
tried,"
I told her that most likely that is all any of us are
capable of doing. I turned her with some pillows and she fell asleep and
died about 10 minutes later. Needless to say, this affected me greatly,
I want to be able to give the right answer when Jesus asks.
The second incident, we had an older man with a massive heart attack,
lots of other problems and he ended up on the ventilator. He was the
meanest old coot ever. His granddaughter worked at the hospital and
apologized for his behavior and told us he had always been quite a
rounder.
He would bite, kick, spit, and had to be restrained to keep him
from pulling every line he had out. We coded him three times during his
stay.
After the third time, his demeanor changed and he became much
more cooperative. We explained the change as a bit of ICU psychosis that
had resolved. The gentleman became a "frequent flyer" in our ICU,
coming in multiple times with CHF and becoming a regular at our
outpatient CHF clinic.
Suddenly, he became a favorite, always smiling, joking, a
dear man. One day he asked me...
"Do you remember the first time I was
here and how awful I was."
I assured him that I did indeed remember. He
said...
"Do you know why I changed?"
I replied that I didn't but just
thought that his meanness was related to his illness. He said...
"No, it
wasn't that....the last time you guys brought me back when my heart
stopped....I woke up all alone in a very dark place....it
was awful, beyond terrifying Though, it was totally black the heat was staggering and there was this awful over powering smell of
sulfur and rotting meat. Then, there was a sense of dread, like something bad was coming for me, something REALLY bad. The sense of impending doom kept getting stronger and stronger. I just knew any second my worst nightmare was going to appear. I was so scared, I called out and called out and no one
answered. Then, by the grace of GOD you were able to start my heart and bring me back to life!
Afterwards, I remembered hearing that when people die and then come back a
lot of them see a light and a lot of other "good" stuff. I NEVER saw a light and I knew that if I did not want to go back to that place that I had to change."
He
lived a couple more years after telling me his story and when he finally
died in our ICU, I had a feeling that he saw the "light" because he died with a smile on his face.