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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Stories of Apparition Hill


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A gynecologist in her sixties who spent her entire professional career performing abortions on demand came to Medjugorje seeking to answer a question which had haunted her her entire life.  She had come alone, bu traveled with a large group of women.  Some of these women were young, middle age, Nurses, Doctors like herself, mostly just women coming to Medjugorje for the first timeAfter their arrival it was decided that the group would brave the climb at a place called Apparition Hill.  Setting out on this daunting climb  Valentina fell in step behind everyone as she was unsure what to expect add to the fact she was in her sixties and was concerned if she could make the climb.  

With an iron will and steadfast determination Valentina began her she climb up Apparition Hill. 
 Having been a Doctor her entire life Valentina had seen many things and endured difficult tasks but she was a Doctor and had taken it all in stride.  Valentina had a notion of what this trip might entail, such as proselytizing, people trying to convince her of their dogma, or even outright preaching.  What Valentina  was not prepared for was that GOD was waiting at Apparition Hill expressly for her.





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Inspired by the Gospa for all her pilgrimages: atheist or not, upon arriving at the top,  everyone consecrates himself to the Immaculate Heart of Mary! 

Not thinking that this consecration was mean anything Valentina followed along and concentrated herself to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

 The proud abortionists and gynecologist did this like everyone else. After all they were just words.  What harm could it do if she offered herself in consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary?   

In the evening she gathered her group together, because she wanted to share something very important. Her throat tightened. She had difficulty talking, her entire life she was the boss, the Doctor that everyone looked up to.  She was a big shot in her country who oversaw all the services of her hospital.  With trepidation and deep remorse Valentina spoke.,..

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“I had scarcely put my foot down on Apparition hill, when suddenly everything changed before my eyes. The beautiful scene before me disappeared; the sky turned dark and menacing. Everything became deathly silent. I felt like I was the last person alive on earth.

 Then, like a thunder clap I saw the scene stretched out before me. From the bottom to the top, the entire hill, was covered in blood and broken bones.  I wanted to recoil in horror to shout who did this evil thing.  Everything in my body screamed at me to run, but my foot was rooted to the ground.  

I wanted to look away.  I wanted to look anywhere, but at the little empty skulls of all the dead babies staring back at me.  

A searing thought burned all the way though my brain and into my Soul.  I did this... I killed them... These are all the children I aborted. My pride had led me down a path where the sum of my life was a grave yard of dead babies.  My entire professional career,  over forty years I had spent convincing myself that I was a leader of women, that my work was important.  What a fool I was... I was wrong..so wrong!

I looked at my hands and they were covered in blood. I wanted to shout...'Look at these hands, these hands have murdered an entire city of innocent children.  (In front of the group she stretched out her hands in horror). 

  Her sobbing was painful to watch, the weight on her soul forced her tears out in torrents.   GOD had removed the devil's lies and had shown her the truth and the cost of her pride.  It is then that I thanked GOD that we have a Divinely Merciful Savior in JESUS CHRIST.  

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Thursday, August 18, 2016

What the Saints Said about Islam

 

“Whoever does not embrace the Catholic Christian faith is lost, like your false prophet Muhammad.”
-St. Peter Mavimenus (d. 8th century), martyr from Gaza. Response reported in the Martyriologum Romanum when he was asked to convert to Islam by a group of Muslims.

 
“There is also the superstition of the Ishmaelites which to this day prevails and keeps people in error, being a forerunner of the Antichrist…. From that time to the present a false prophet Mohammed has appeared in their midst. This man, after having chanced upon the Old and New Testaments and likewise, it seems, having conversed with an Arian monk, devised his own heresy. Then, having insinuated himself into the good graces of the people by a show of seeming piety, he gave out that a certain book had been sent down to him from heaven. He had set down some ridiculous compositions in this book of his and he gave it to them as an object of veneration.”
-St. John Damascene (d. 749), Syrian Arab Catholic monk and scholar. Quoted from his book On Heresies under the section On the Heresy of the Ishmaelites (in The Fathers of the Church. Vol. 37. Translated by the Catholic University of America. CUA Press. 1958. Pages 153-160.)

 

“We profess Christ to be truly God and your false prophet Mohammed to be a precursor of the Antichrist and other profane doctrine.”
-Sts. Habenitus, Jeremiah, Peter, Sabinian, Walabonsus, and Wistremundus (d. 851), martyrs of Cordoba, Spain. Reported in the Memoriale Sanctorum in response to Spanish Umayyad Caliph ‘Abd Ar-Rahman II’s ministers that they convert to Islam on pain of death.
 

“Any cult which denies the divinity of Christ, does not profess the existence of the Holy Trinity, refutes baptism, defames Christians, and derogates the priesthood, we consider to be damned. All, of which, the false prophet Mohammed has done
-Sts. Aurelius, Felix, George, Liliosa, and Natalia (d. 852), martyrs of Cordoba, Spain. Reported in the Memoriale Sanctorum in response to Spanish Umayyad Caliph ‘Abd Ar-Rahman II’s ministers that they convert to Islam on pain of death.

 
“On the other hand, those who founded sects committed to erroneous doctrines proceeded in a way that is opposite to this, the point is clear in the case of the false prophet Mohammed.  He seduced the people by promises of carnal pleasure to which the concupiscence of the flesh goads us. His teaching also contained precepts that were in conformity with his promises, and he gave free rein to carnal pleasure. In all this, as is not unexpected, he was obeyed by carnal men.
 
As for proofs of the truth of his doctrine, he brought forward only such as could be grasped by the natural ability of anyone with a very modest wisdom. Indeed, the truths that he taught he mingled with many fables and with doctrines of the greatest falsity. He did not bring forth any signs produced in a supernatural way, which alone fittingly gives witness to divine inspiration; for a visible action that can be only divine reveals an invisibly inspired teacher of truth. On the contrary, the false prophet Mohammed said that he was sent in the power of his arms—which are signs not lacking even to robbers and tyrants.”
-St. Thomas Aquinas (d. 1274), Theologian and Doctor of the Church. Quoted from his De Rationibus Fidei Contra Saracenos, Graecos, et Armenos and translated from Fr. Damian Fehlner’s Aquinas on Reasons for the Faith: Against the Muslims, Greeks, and Armenians (Franciscans of the Immaculate. 2002.).

 
“As we have seen, the false prophet Mohammed had neither supernatural miracles nor natural motives of reason to persuade those of his sect. As he lacked in everything, he took to bestial and barbaric means, which is the force of arms. Thus he introduced and promulgated his message with robberies, murders, and bloodshedding, destroying those who did not want to receive it, and with the same means his ministers conserve this today, until God placates his anger and destroys this pestilence from the earth.

The false prophet Mohammed can also be figured for the dragon in the same Apocalypse which says that the dragon swept up a third of the stars and hurled down a third to earth. Although this line is more appropriately understood concerning the Antichrist, the false prophet Mohammed was, and, is his precursor – the prophet of Satan, father of the sons of haughtiness.

Even if all the things contained in his law were fables in philosophy and errors in theology, even for those who do not possess the light of reason, the very manners (Islam) teaches are from a school of vicious bestialities. The false prophet Mohammed did not prove his new sect with any motive, having neither supernatural miracles nor natural reasons, but solely the force of arms, violence, fictions, lies, and carnal license. It remains an impious, blasphemous, vicious cult, an innovation of the devil, and the direct way into the fires of hell. It does not even merit the name of being called a religion.”
-St. Juan de Ribera (d.1611), Archbishop of Valencia, missionary to Spanish Muslims, and organizer of the Muslim expulsions of 1609 from Spain. Quoted in several locations from his 1599 Catechismo para la Instruccion de los Nuevos Convertidos de los Moros .
 
“The Mahometan paradise, however, is only fit for for beasts of the field; and for filthy sensual pleasure. This is the apex of what is offered by the false prophet Mohammed to all the lost believers, there is nothing, no hope, no salvation...”
St. Alfonsus Liguori (d. 1787). Quoted from his book, The History of Heresies and their Refutation.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

The Testimony of Fred Wolff




I was born into a Conservative Jewish home.  My parents, while not overly “religious,” did their best to follow the Jewish customs and traditions.  My mom kept a kosher home quite well.  When I was of age, they sent me to Hebrew school where I learned to read, write, and speak Hebrew and studied about the Jewish faith. Of course, the Old Testament was a huge part of my studies.  At thirteen, I made my Bar Mitzvah and was now a member of the club, so to speak, a full-fledged Jew.


When I was 16, we attended the services at the Temple for Rosh Hashanah.  Since there is no temple in Jerusalem, the Jews don’t pay a tithe but pay dues to the synagogue and buy tickets for the High Holidays.  Across the street from our little synagogue was an old age home.  I would always see many of the men and women from there at the synagogue, either on the Sabbath or for the holidays.  This particular time, an older lady came in and there were no chairs so I elected to give her mine.  Holy mackerel, you can’t believe what happened; one of the ushers came over and told me I couldn’t do that since she didn’t have a ticket and had no right to a seat.  I laughed at him and started to walk away.  I never again went into a synagogue.


When I was seventeen, I was introduced to the occult through a high school friend of mine.  His cousin owned an occult shop in my town and he brought me there to meet this cousin.  The cousin was a nice guy and was very friendly. The shop owner then introduced me to two pleasant people, Janice and Rich. They were into Witchcraft (Wicca).  Since I expressed a desire to learn, I went into what they referred to as a “pagan circle,” where I learned all about pagan beliefs and the deities they worshiped (i.e. the god and goddess, the lord and the lady, etc.).  We referred to ourselves as “white Wiccans.”  We had no intention of harming anyone through our rituals.  Little did I know that the ones we were harming were ourselves.  Eventually, I was brought into the “craft.”
After I joined the Air Force I kept in touch with Rich and Janice and they connected me with with different Wiccan groups in different parts of the country.  It’s very widespread.


When I was stationed in California, I learned that there were others out there who practiced different aspects of the occult.  A gentleman carrying a red leather briefcase with an inverted pentagram (ours were not inverted ) approached me in a mall.  He told me he was a member of the First Church of Satan, based in San Francisco.  I had no desire to (knowingly) serve Satan, but he piqued my interest.  He invited me a ceremony that he thought I would like.  I decided to go.  He was wrong, though, about me liking the ceremony.  I was never so terrified in my life.  I’m not the bravest guy in the world but I’m no coward.

 

As it turns out, I was invited to a Black Mass.  I found out, much later, that the Satanic Black Mass is a parody of the Holy Eucharist celebrated by the Catholic Church.  I was told (not asked) to remain in my seat and observe.  I found out after the “mass” that the guy officiating was a former Catholic priest.
Instead of blessing the wafers and the wine, they began to do disgusting and vile things to them that took me so much by surprise I was spellbound and unable to move.  I really wanted to run out but I couldn’t.  It was as if I was glued to my chair.


After my discharge from the Air Force, I still was involved with the occult practices, but confined them mostly to white Wicca.  I became the High Priest of a local coven.  Many covens practiced naked, or skyclad; our coven did not practice that way.  We were a robed coven.


One day, my old “mentor,” Rich, reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to conjure a demon with him.  He said he was studying the rites and rituals and he knew he could do it.  You would have thought I learned my lesson but I was young and stupid.  After this episode, I was still young, but no longer stupid.
We went through rather elaborate rituals gleaned from two of the most powerful occult ritual books in the world of ceremonial magick. (Note the “k” which distinguishes it from stage magic.)  The experiences I had that night changed my life. I experienced things that night I never thought I’d see.  Rich told me that as long as we were in the circle the inscribed on the ground, we were safe.  Oh yeah…real safe.  If God didn’t have His Hand on me that night, I’d be dead.
An incredibly beautiful woman appeared outside the circle, and tried to entice me to come out.  Once again, I was too scared to move. 


 She eventually turned into her real shape and I thought my heart would stop.  She turned into the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen.  When she disappeared, the real show began.  It was as if one of the walls in Rich’s house melted away, and we were greeted with a glimpse of hell.  The smell was atrocious—rotten eggs, sulfur—I can’t begin to describe it.  Then came the demon that Rich conjured up and I thought my life was over.  They can take shapes, even though they are spirit beings.  He assumed the most hideous shape you could imagine.  If he was trying to scare us, he succeeded.  He laughed and said to Rich, “Do you really think that circle can stop me?”  At that point, Rich was picked up off the ground and slammed into a wall fifteen feet away.  That was it for me.  I ran into the back of his house, locked myself in the bathroom, and stayed there for I don’t know how long.



I went out to check on Rich; I thought he was dead.  He would have been better off if he was.  He was foaming at the mouth and babbling incoherently.  I called 911, managed to convince them that I came to the house to hang out with Rich and, oh look at what I found.  I don’t think the police believed me but they never pressed the issue; there was no sign of drug use or physical harm.  For 20 years, Rich was at a psychiatric institute on Long Island; he had apparently lost his mind.  He died eventually of self-inflicted harm.

 

The next day, I met with the people who were in charge of a number of covens, mine included.  I told them I was done and was leaving the scene.  It got ugly; we pushed, we shoved, we exchanged punches, I left.  This was in the dead of winter in February 1982.  As I sat in my car, waiting for that clunker to warm up, two of the guys came outside and were looking at me.  I could see their mouths moving and assumed they were chanting some kind of incantation.  I was right.  Within seconds, the driver’s and front passenger’s windows blew out.  Out, not in.  They looked shocked and went back inside. I almost had heart failure.  I threw my car in drive and took off.  The next morning, at the glass place, the guy commended me on doing such a great job cleaning up the glass. I told I did no such thing and he laughed at me.  I believe God had His angels around my car and they prevented the glass from touching me.



During this time, I was working with a gentleman, Ray, who was a new Christian.  He “sensed” I was into something and began to witness to me.  I tried to be respectful and told him I wasn’t interested.  After the night we conjured the demon, I quickly became interested.  After I got to work, I ran over to Ray’s workstation and begged him to take me to church.  That night, we met the pastor of his Southern Baptist church.  I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and was delivered from years of occult oppression.  Having basically served the devil for many years, I knew his power; I knew what of he was capable.  


The night I accepted Jesus into my heart as my savior, I finally knew the power of God and I knew that the devil no longer had power over me.  The creator of the universe defeated him because of His love for me…ME!  What a humbling experience.
I knew my parents would be terribly upset when they found out I became Christian, especially since I essentially did it out of fear.  I didn’t tell them for some time.  I was afraid of what their reaction would be.  The name Jesus was anathema to most Jews and my parents were no different.



I stayed with that church for a while, learning as much as I could of the Bible and building a relationship with God and His Son.  In 1984, I was married in an evangelical Lutheran church that my wife attended.  She was not keen on the Baptist way of worship so, naturally, she rarely went to church with me.  After a time, I began to get very uncomfortable there.  At least once each Sunday, either the pastor or someone in the congregation would comment about the Catholics who went to church down the road from our church; all I heard was how “those Catholics” were marching straight to hell.


After a time, my wife and I began to attend her church, albeit infrequently.  Eventually, we stopped going altogether.  We moved out of that area and never attended any church until our son was born in 1997.  All of sudden she was preoccupied with getting him baptized so we took him to the local Episcopal church to have him baptized.


All through my marriage I rarely attended church and, on those rare occasions when I (or we) did, I always felt something was missing.  We divorced and I became depressed.  A work friend of mine, a Pentecostal, invited me to his church.  I wasn’t thrilled with being around too many people but I gave it a try anyway.  They had great music!  It was a fairly mixed congregation age-wise and the people were very nice.  Their worship, though, was strange to me — speaking in tongues was something I’d never experienced.  At the time I knew little about that but I was never comfortable with it.  The pastor always told people to speak in tongues on command.  I found out later that was not biblical.


I eventually ended up in a ministry position there; I became their sound-man.  I used to work a soundboard for my friends’ band so I was a natural.  I stayed in that church for almost four years; all that time, I heard about how Catholics were “religious” and a dead religion.  It seemed that any church I attended always had something negative to say about the Catholic Church.  I needed to find out why.  If the Catholic Church had nothing to offer, why were all these fundamentalist and Protestant churches so preoccupied with them?



In 2009, I decided I needed to find out what the deal was with the Catholic Church.  I began to read as much as I could about the Church, from the Protestant side and the Catholic side.  Having been raised Jewish, I still had some deep seated obstacles regarding Christianity in general, but the more I learned about the Catholic Church, the fewer obstacles I had.  I read Scott Hahn, Tim Staples, Patrick Madrid, and others.  The more I read the more I realized that the Catholic Church was, indeed, the Church founded by Jesus Christ.


In 2010, I enrolled in the RCIA program and at Easter Vigil in 2011 I was brought into full communion with Mother Church.  Since I was never baptized, at the other churches I had attended, I received the sacraments of Baptism, Holy Communion, and Confirmation at the Easter Vigil Mass.  I knew in my heart and my spirit that Jesus truly was the Messiah and my Redeemer.
 

Sunday, July 3, 2016

I have a darkened heart admits abortionist Dr. Robert Santella




“I have a darkened heart” Dr. Robert Santella the abortionist said to the pro-life activist.

“You have a darkened heart,” the pro-lifer repeated, who was taking a video of the exchange. 

“I do, I do, very, very much so.”
The abortionist was Dr. Robert Santella at the San Diego’s Family Planning Associates clinic. His gestures were very disturbing and dark in nature.


“You’ve got to repent, sir, for murdering babies,” the activist said calmly as the doctor exited the clinic. 

The doctor then got up in the activist’s face with a modulated voice, “Why?”

“Because it’s a sin before God,” the activist replied.

 The doctor growled back, saying 

“Stinky breath!”

“Murdering children is evil of you, sir.”

“Yes, yeah, I am.”

The doctor then did sick disgusting hand gestures that weren't  caught on video. “Wow,” the activist said, “Is that how you murder babies?”

“Yeah," the Doctor replied.   "I love it, love killing babies, yeah, I do.” 

The activist then said he hoped the doctor would come to Christ. 

“Oh, I’ll never go to Christ,” the abortionist got very angry and replied, “No, never will I go to Christ, I don’t listen to Christ.”

The activist then told the abortionist he would one day stand before God in judgement. When the activist said he would be judged “for all the babies you have killed.” The unrepentant  abortionist gleefully responded..

 “I love it, I love killing babies..I love it!”

Dr. Santella was also holding scissors during the exchange, which he held up in his hand at various points. It’s unclear whether he meant to threaten the pro-lifer with them.

Other pro-choicer activist have referenced the demonic in their exchanges with pro-lifers. In April, a group of Satanists staged a bizarre demonstration that, among other things, mocked Catholicism, outside of a Planned Parenthood clinic. 

Most noticeably, in 2013, angry pro-choice activists chanted and sang “Hail, Satan!” as pro-lifers prayed and sang “Amazing Grace” in the Texas state capital.

Make no mistake this abortionist who openly mocks GOD will stand before his creator and he will have to give account for all of the lives he brutally murdered.  I can only pray that before he draws his last breath that he repents before it is too late... 




 

Thursday, June 30, 2016

God revealed to her both Heaven and Hell



Nancy Chandy (Heavenly Call Mission Church, Dallas Texas) shares how God revealed to her both Heaven and Hell; and insight she gained from her experience.


Thursday, June 2, 2016

The Truth Will Set You Free


“The Gospel of Christ isn't about  about ‘tolerance.’ It cares about truth.”

These words caused me to look up from my Bible Gateway app where I was reading along with selected scriptures. Matt Short, missions pastor at One Community Church in Lynchburg, Virginia, had just uttered from the pulpit a profound reality that, regrettably, we hear far too infrequently from this millennial generation (or any generation for that matter).

After several weeks of having worshiped with this young church body, I’ve been repeatedly shocked, and pleasantly so, that, under the headship of lead pastor Paul Dudley and, clearly, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, this group of faithful 20 and 30-somethings does not sidestep truth, in love, as concerns transcendent issues that in today’s politically correct and postmodern culture (to include much of Christianity) are considered highly controversial.

Pastor Short judiciously stacked his words ­ words that blossomed from the very Vine of Truth Himself ­ upon that elusive sweet spot in the tense continuum between truth and grace: two central features of Christ’s nature that are neither mutually exclusive nor at odds with one another.


“There is nothing new under the sun,” we are reminded in Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Indeed, by today’s secular-progressive standards ­ and, more vexing yet, by the standards of lukewarm Christians and ministries that, under the intense thaw of postmodern paganism, fall away from the berg like vast chunks of ice ­ Christ Jesus Himself would, like so many of his followers today, be slandered as an “intolerant bigot” and crucified all over again.

To be sure, under the contemporary misconception of “tolerance,” which supposes that one must not only tolerate sin of every stripe, but refuse to call it even that, Christ was (and is) intolerant indeed. Rather than admonishing the adulterous woman to, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (see John 8:11), postmodernism, to include the moral relativist yeast that leavens the body of Christ, demands, at once, that our never-changing Lord change the unchangeable: “Go now and continue your life of sin.”


This is not true grace.

It is cheap grace.

And it is apostasy.

While it is true that none of us is without sin (I’m the first to drop my stone in the sand for this reason), we are nonetheless commanded to repent of our sins: “I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will likewise perish (Luke 13:3).”

The first step to repentance is recognizing sin for what it is and rejecting deceptive attempts to sanitize it by calling it something else (i.e., “choice,” “sexual orientation,” “she’s not my wife, but we’re soul mates” and the like). Alas, ’tis true: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20).

Indeed, far too many “seeker friendly” and mainline Christian denominations do just that. They call evil good. They intentionally omit the central “repent and go and sin no more” elements of the good news (or otherwise affirm sin altogether) for fear of driving away would-be fish in the net ­ those slippery little buggers (aren’t we all?) who prefer whirling about in a toxic sea of temptation, rather than surrendering to the ultimate Fisher of Men.


Pastor Short, to his credit, did no such thing. In fact, he went on to address Paul’s rebuke of the church in Galatia. Much like today’s “nicer than Jesus” set, they, too, for different reasons perhaps, adopted a false gospel that, in their eyes, made them more “relevant” and palatable to the world around them.

Sound familiar?

Wrote Paul: “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you,let them be under God’s curse!” (Galatians 1:6-8)


Not very tolerant.

But grace, tempered with truth, nonetheless.

“As we have already said,” Paul continued, “so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse! Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:9-10).



And so, according to Paul, those who shrink from the “full counsel of God,” are not only out of line, they are under “God’s curse.” The fall he took on the road to Damascus clearly knocked free his ability to skate the thin ice of political correctness.

Still, like the Galatians, far too many in today’s church are more concerned with not offending others, most especially those who are without Christ, and, rather than being fearless “servants of Christ,” instead have busied themselves with “trying to please people.”

And, like the Galatians, they have created a false gospel to that end.


Pleasing the world is not taking up your cross and suffering for Christ. Pleasing the world is a cakewalk. “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” (John 15:19).

Does the world hate you?

It should.

We can’t belong to the world and to Christ.

We must choose.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Stories from an RN Nurses About Lessons Before Dying



"I was working ICU and caring for a patient with breast Ca who was dying, minimally responsive for days (this was a long time ago when we actually kept dying patients in ICU). Anyway, she suddenly awoke and was very lucid, asking for some water.....I was a little stunned but got her water for her. 
After she drank she said,  

"Do you know what Jesus just asked me?" 

 Of course I got chill bumps all over and asked...
"No, what?" 

"He asked me if I had done everything with love."

  "And what did you say"

 "I told him that I had tried," 

I told her that most likely that is all any of us are capable of doing. I turned her with some pillows and she fell asleep and died about 10 minutes later. Needless to say, this affected me greatly, I want to be able to give the right answer when Jesus asks. 


 


The second incident, we had an older man with a massive heart attack, lots of other problems and he ended up on the ventilator. He was the meanest old coot ever. His granddaughter worked at the hospital and apologized for his behavior and told us he had always been quite a rounder. 

He would bite, kick, spit, and had to be restrained to keep him from pulling every line he had out. We coded him three times during his stay. 

After the third time, his demeanor changed and he became much more cooperative. We explained the change as a bit of ICU psychosis that had resolved. The gentleman became a "frequent flyer" in our ICU, coming in multiple times with CHF and becoming a regular at our outpatient CHF clinic. 

Suddenly, he became a favorite, always smiling, joking, a dear man. One day he asked me...

"Do you remember the first time I was here and how awful I was." 

I assured him that I did indeed remember. He said...

 "Do you know why I changed?" 

I replied that I didn't but just thought that his meanness was related to his illness. He said...

"No, it wasn't that....the last time you guys brought me back when my heart stopped....I woke up all alone in a very dark place....it was awful, beyond terrifying Though, it was totally black the heat was staggering and there was this awful over powering smell of sulfur and rotting meat. Then, there was a sense of dread, like something bad was coming for me, something REALLY bad.  The sense of impending doom kept getting stronger and stronger. I just knew any second my worst nightmare was going to appear.  I was so scared, I called out and called out and no one answered. Then, by the grace of GOD you were able to start my heart and bring me back to life!

Afterwards, I remembered hearing that when people die and then come back a lot of them see a light and a lot of other "good" stuff. I NEVER saw a light and I knew that if I did not want to go back to that place that I had to change." 

He lived a couple more years after telling me his story and when he finally died in our ICU, I had a feeling that he saw the "light" because he died with a smile on his face.