Sunday, September 30, 2012

Thank you JESUS

 When the Lord Sounds the Trumpet, after the dead in JESUS CHRIST rise first, this is going to be ME Heaven bound at Light Speed.

Recently I received Divine Grace in my understanding of my relationship with our Lord JESUS CHRIST. 

I was shown that it was NOT JESUS who was keeping me at arms length, but ME who was keeping JESUS at a distance.  I learned by the Mercy of GOD revealing it to me, that I was angry with GOD for my life.  I was angry with GOD for my suffering.  I didn't want to be loved, nor did I want to love JESUS because I was holding onto my pain.   I didn't want to give up my pain because I had earned it, the sorrow and tears, suffering and grief were MINE!  I kept JESUS at a distance because I was mad because my life was unfair, crappy, and very painful.  My life had become so dark that I was once in a good mood and when I realized that I immediately made myself stop because I was sure if I allowed myself to experience happiness that the world would punish me severely  Why did GOD allow me to go through so much suffering?  Why did GOD not stop all the pain and misery I had to endure my whole life.   Why didn't GOD put a stop to the horrible sick things adults did to me as a child?  I was MAD, ANGRY, pissed off and I wasn't going to give up my pain. I had earned my pain and it was MINE!

The LORD brought to my thoughts the scripture.."That you must be like a child to inherent the Kingdom of GOD."   Then, the LORD allowed me to be that child again, before the nightmare started in my life.  I was pure and happy, totally trusting in the LORD. Completely at peace, fully and totally trusting in the LORD with all my being.  I had no fear, no pain, just peace and the absolute assurance of GOD'S love for me. 

The LORD showed me that if I wanted to be that child again that all I had to do was surrender my pain, my suffering, my anger.  IF I gave up this bitterness to the LORD and asked for forgiveness that Almighty GOD would be faithful to heal me.

I wanted to be that young boy again, free from constant fear, from black sorrow which weighted down every thought and blackened every day.  I wanted to laugh without worrying that if I allowed myself to laugh that something bad will happen. I wanted to be free!  I wanted to fall into my FATHER'S arms and feel them wrap around me like a freshly clean warm blanket.  I wanted to free!  To open my eyes and not fear what they would show me.  I want to be free!  To know that love does not come at a price, that love does not come with strings attached.    Love is a two way street, not the lonely one lane highway where I spent my whole life constantly searching, seeking, hoping, but never finding.

So, I surrendered all my pain, all my suffering to the LORD to use as HE saw fit.  I earned it and of my own free will I gave it up to the LORD.  I asked for forgiveness for all the years I kept the LORD JESUS CHRIST at arms length.  I asked forgiveness for my anger, for my resentment.  I asked the LORD to cleanse me from sin and unrighteousness.  I opened my heart, mind, body, and soul to the LORD JESUS CHRIST and asked HIM to wash me clean and grant me the free gift of salvation.  I asked JESUS CHRIST to be my Savior, my Lord, my King.  I asked Almighty GOD to take me into HIS arms and NEVER let me go.

I am so grateful that the Lord sent HIS only begotten Son JESUS CHRIST down to this earth.  Because I know that as I have suffered so too has HE. JESUS CHRIST really does understand what it is to suffer in pain.   Not only does HE love me, but HE understands my suffering and pain. 

Thank you JESUS CHRIST for not giving up on me! Thank you JESUS CHRIST for my salvation!
Thank you Almighty GOD for sending JESUS CHRIST your Son to save not just me, but all of mankind.

Glory to GOD