Priest Leonid, Redemptorist from Ukraine province, participated in the 15th International seminar for priest in Medjugorje and gave this testimony, first to the other participants and then to Radio Station Mir Medjugorje. We publish the testimony as it was given:
My first pilgrimage to Medjugorje was related to my obligations and to my occupation in the priestly vocation. Namely, in 2005 my local Church entrusted me with huge responsibility and gave me a heavy burden to carry and that was in the service of exorcist.
The first months and the very first year were filled with God's love
and grace, but also with great difficulties and temptations. One of the
major difficulties took place during a session of exorcism over one
possessed person. That person spoke to me in a very rough voice, full of
horror in these words: "I am horrible, I am powerful, and I will
destroy you. I will destroy your priesthood and all of your life."
Although that was quite bad, I did not take that seriously at all.
After all, I believed in God completely and I did not have any reasons
to doubt that. I also knew that if I had fear in front of the Satan that
would be as if I had already lost something. But God allowed this
situation to take place, and I am going to share with you how great and
how mighty his Mother is, and how Medjugorje is sacred ground.
When I was in great pain, when I suffered and when I was tempted daily, I was not able to pray at all. I would go to confession every single day, but Satan tempted me all the times. The temptations were so strong that I lost peace in my soul completely. And not only that, I also felt that I lost my priesthood and my vocation. I felt that it was a complete and total destruction of my life.
In that difficult reality, while I was still unable to figure out what
was happening to me, somebody offered me to come to Medjugorje. And I
came. I was with a group of priests. I was just not able to pray, not
even when they prayed. During that pilgrimage I met one other priest,
Father Ambrosias from Slovakia.
He completely sacrificed his life and
his vocation working with people from Ukraine in the region of Carpatho -
Ukraine. He traveled soon after heart attack, and he also had diabetes.
He was a Franciscan priest who came to Medjugorje five times before
that. He absolutely thrilled me with his life and humbleness. He became
my friend, I would help him around, take him by the hand, as he was an
older man. It appeared that I was helping to him, but in truth was it
was the other way round.
We were once climbing up the Hill of Apparitions and it was to be the
apparition to one of the visionaries. Everything was packed with people,
priests. I sat next to Fr. Ambrosias and I turned my back to the
apparition site. I felt myself not worthy of being there at all. But
during the time of the Rosary, I felt a desire to look towards that
direction, to see what was happening there. At the same time, as I felt
that desire, another inner voice was saying to me not to look there.
"You are failure and you will end up in hell", I heard. It was horrible.
Those first, positive feelings directed my look towards the apparition
site. I started to look and I was searching for a sign. Maybe I was to
see something at the end. Hope was being born in me slowly, but also
more new arguments about how my humiliation was not to be changed. But, I
believed in the crucial moment...just for a moment. And in that very
moment, as the answer to all of the questions ever posed to me, I was
able to feel how Our Lady was coming down, from Heaven to this world. It
was horrible in that moment. Such a powerful perception, a scent of the
other world [of evil] that I used to feel up to that point.
And then, I was appeased by certain gentleness, a light touch, like a
gentle breeze of Our Lady's presence. She was coming closer to me. And
as she drew closer to me, the power of evil was disappearing. In my
heart I experienced new revelation. I was able to experience how
powerful her presence is, how she was humble. Then I realized that she
does not cast away evil spirits, but they run themselves. They are not
able to bear her purity and the beauty of her presence. She does not
humiliate them nor does she send them away. She simply loves them and
they cannot stand that!
And then, a change of spirits within me took place. The spirit of
Satan, the spirit that destroys, disappeared with all of his depression
and fear. Instead of that spirit, Our Lady's spirit took its place in
me.
In my heart, I heard the voice:
"Do not be afraid, I am your mother!
I am your guarantee that you will not be destroyed, that you will not
fail."
Everything was changed. That experience of presence of Our
Blessed Mother became a miracle of love that saved me, my vocation and
my life!
I started to feel Our Lady's presence in every exorcism I perform. I
will just share one little example, since there are many similar ones.
Our priests were dealing with one possessed girl who came to confess in
front of one young priest who just returned after his studies in Rome.
And as he was saying the absolution words, that person, Satan, in that
girl, hit that priest so hard that he fell down immediately. Then, that
same person started calling other priests in some strange voice. That
priest was scared and he called me.
After few moments that girl was in front of me and I started to pray
over her. As I began the exorcism, I knew the diagnosis straight away,
the girl was severely possessed and I invited five devoted faithful to
pray as well. As I recited the traditional prayers of exorcism, Satan
just laughed. It spoke to me in the English language, humiliated me and
constantly laughed at me.
Then, I began to pray to Our Lady. I was
totally exhausted. I began to be nervous as well. I felt that I need to
finish my prayer, but the evil spirit was not going away. It was the
spirit of suicide. I began to call Our Lady with all of my heart. In the
same way as the child calls his mom. And real screaming began at that
moment: "I cannot stay here any longer, Our Lady is here, I need to go
away."
And the demon fled from the mother of Jesus Christ the Savior of the world.
This was just one situation and there are so many similar ones. During
these five years, as I have been entrusted the service of exorcism, I
experience many temptations and trials. I had those before; I know I
will have those in the future as well. But, Our Lady keeps me in her
heart.
I desire to
be in Medjugorje and Jerusalem every year. That is what faith is for me.
Here I have faith, blessing and grace. I am grateful to dear God that I
am able to witness Our Lady's grace in this way. I would like each one
of us to want to love more our Blessed Mother, the Mother of God. She is
our Mother. She loves her children.
She is prepared to do anything her
children ask of her. I offer a personal invitation to
come to Medjugorje. To bring here all of those people who experience
tremendous spiritual suffering.
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